Surgery Date Change

Because we had scheduled Mia's surgery so far out, we knew that the date changing could be a possibility.  Today it changed not just once, but twice.  Our surgeon will be at a conference the week that it was originally scheduled.  So first they rescheduled us for exactly a week later.  Then his assistant called back later this afternoon to let us know that the scheduler read is schedule wrong and he won't be back.  Still that same week, but on Thursday instead of Tuesday.  New surgery date...September 26th.  I asked his assistant many time to check his schedule to see that he would for sure be there then and for a few weeks afterwards as well.  She assured me he would be.  I'd much rather find out now, when we're still about 2 months out, than the day before!

Remembering

Today as I was waiting at a red light at an intersection, traffic in all directions was halted by an approaching ambulance.  As I heard the sirens and watched the flashing lights drive past, I was reminded of a day in my life that changed who I was forever.  The morning that I was taken in an ambulance after falling to the floor of my apartment for an unknown reason.  The day I had a stroke.

Sometimes an ambulance or emergency vehicle passes by me and I don't give it a second thought.  Other times, like today, I have flashbacks of that morning.  I remember not being able to communicate with my parents over the phone.  I remember strangers practically breaking in the door to get to me.  I remember going in and out of consciousness in the ambulance.  I remember waking up in the ER, seeing a bright light, and hearing the voices of angels calling my name.

It's sometimes hard for me to remember my recovery time in the hospital, it's all a blur, but I will never forget that morning.

Today those memories played over and over in my head.  For many months, possibly years, after my stroke, I tried to push those memories out of my head.  I didn't want to remember.  But I now realize, that those memories have greatly shaped me into the person that I today.

They're memories that are very hard for me to rehash and hard for me to share.  But every once in awhile, they come to mind.  At those times, it is very plain to see that life can change in an instant and we should never take a minute of it for granted.

Putting Things in Perspective

This evening we were at my in-laws house to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday.  While we were there, I was chatting with my brother-in-law about Mia's upcoming surgery.  At the end of our conversation about the surgery, he said, "well, no matter what, we have to consider ourselves lucky for what we have."  And he's right.  I'm so lucky to have Mia.  No matter how many surgeries she has to undergo.  No matter how many doctor's appointments we have to attend.  No matter the fact that her heart only has two working chambers, I'm lucky.  I have a beautiful, happy, amazing daughter.  Mia, Izzy and Art are my everything.  I am lucky.

Mia's third open heart surgery is 2 months from Wednesday.  It has been on my mind constantly lately.  Earlier today I read a blog post about the third HLHS surgery called the Fontan.  It was a success story.  Usually I find that I'm reading Fontan stories about kids with not very happy endings, this story was just the opposite.  It was refreshing.  It gave me hope.  It put my mind at ease a little bit.  The story was about a little girl about Mia's age when she had her Fontan.  She was in the hospital for 8 days and has recovered wonderfully.  The family is now 2 years post Fontan and living a pretty "normal" life.

Ever since we made the decision of when Mia's surgery will be, I have questioned whether or not we made the right choice.  Mostly because of her age.  She won't even be 2 yet.  The surgery is exactly a month from her 2nd birthday.  But the story I read today also opened my eyes to see that I DO think we made the right choice and that there are other kids out there that have had the surgery at a younger age.

There is a fellow heart mom in our town whose daughter is having her Fontan tomorrow.  Her daughter is a little over 2 years old.  I share their fears.  Tomorrow they will be embarking on something that very few parents can understand.  I understand.  While there I days when I wish over and over that I didn't understand, that I was clueless to what some families go through, today I consider myself lucky to have that understanding.  No matter what happens in two months, I have a beautiful, happy, amazing daughter.  I have my Mia, and I am lucky.

Happy Girls

The other day the girls and I were playing dress up.  They were having so much fun.  I love seeing huge smiles on their faces.  Every day is dress up day for Izzy, but Mia doesn't usually like to dress up.  Well she couldn't get enough of it that day!

They also loved having their picture taken to show the results.  Cracked me up that as soon as I pointed the camera at them, they both started saying "cheese" and posing.  Love them so much!